Happy Disowner's Day!

So today is father's day and that's annoying. I'm sorry but as someone who has a horrible relationship with their father nothing being able to get any from it anywhere is really irritating. I know everyone is free to do what they want but seeing things like "The only man a girl can really count on his her daddy" piss me off. Yeah, I can rely and count on him to treat me like shit and disown me to fend for myself, to terrify me to no end, to be selfish and care more about himself then the rest of his family, to act like a two year old, to make me feel like nothing.

I am really and truly happy for all the people who have good relationships with their fathers/ families. It's something I wish I had but will never have. I have accepted all of this. I just can't get away from it anywhere. Where I live their having family dinner with everyone but Lisa because she's in Alabama. I can't sit there and pretend to be okay with it all. I'm not.  I'm glad you all can still be daddy's little girl or boy but please don't assume that everyone is so lucky.

I think it's one of those things you don't think about until or unless you have been in that situation. Yeah, I could move past it but I don't want to. I don't want to forgive someone who fucked me over completely. I'm not even mad at the random families that keep coming in Caribou. I just wish I had horse blinders on so I didn't have to see it. It also makes me wonder how many of them are just keeping up appearances.

I hate holidays.

Control Me I Dare You.

Power is defined as the ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something. But that is not how power is really perceived. Power is a huge deal in our society. Who has it, who gains it, and how it is being used are all things that are talked about on a daily basis in one way or another.

There is this idea that we have to be given power in order to have it. I don’t agree with this one hundred percent. There are certain situations where someone may have power over you like in a job. But in your personal life I don’t believe that anyone should have power over you. If you think they do have it then take it away. The only way someone can have power is if you give it to them.

Take me for example. I’m in the strange situation where I don’t really see anyone in my immediate life that has power over me. From birth really I questioned everything and did what I wanted. I’m pretty sure I taught my older brother how to question authority and break rules. I don’t arbitrarily break all the rules just ones that I don’t agree with or find necessary. I have never just sat and let someone act as though they were better than me or had something over me.

We are all humans and that is all that matters. That is all that should ever matter. There should be equality. There should be love. There should be less fear. I want to live in a world where people aren’t afraid to do what is right or what is best for them. No one will fix your situation or life but you. No one else cares enough about it. Ask for help. Accept help. I know it’s hard but sometimes it what we have to do. Survival is not an option. We will all be gone someday. I want to make the best of my time here. I want to help people and make a positive difference in others lives.

I don’t want a ton of money, just enough to get by and be happy. I never want to just take things for granted. None of us are Captain Jack Harkness and never die, so make the best of your time here. Never accept that since someone believes they are better than you that they are. There will never be another person who is quite like you. There simply can’t be.