Recently I've noticed an upswing in people prefacing something they say or ask me with 'well you're smart' or 'you're one of the smartest people I know'. I don't know how to feel about this. I think of myself as fairly intelligent. I have a strong desperation for more knowledge and to always be learning. I haven't been a student in almost two years. These people who call me smart are either still in school, having the opportunity to further and continue their education, or they are decades out of higher education.
I guess I just don't feel that smart when I'm not being challenged. I like to study broadly; learn as much as I can about anything I find interesting. If there is something I want to know I go and learn about it until I am satisfied. Does that make me smart?
Or is it that I have a lot of real world experience. Not necessarily interpersonal experience, but the world has dealt me a load of shit to deal with. From a very young age I have had a fair amount of street smarts. I have done and seen and dealt with a lot of things. I was a curious child who had no concept of what the words no, don't, bad, or Catherine stop meant. I asked a lot of questions. I challenged a lot of things. I loved puzzles. I remember waking up on Saturday mornings and hanging out with my dad cause we were the only two up. We would go through his SAT prep book that was full of mind puzzles. I was maybe ten at the time and I would figure some of them out before my dad. I know be didn't just let me think I beat him a.) cause that wasn't his style and b.) he made me explain it to him how I did it.
Maybe I'm smarter than I think. Maybe I'm just good at appearing smart to others.
I am creative. I am a wallflower. I am a nerd. I love learning. I love the people in my life.
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